Here are some actual maintenance write-ups submitted by US Navy flight crews and the actual replies from the maintenance crews.
This proves that flight maintenance crews have a healthy sense of humor.

Reported problem:    Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Response:    Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Reported problem:   Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Response:    Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

Reported problem:   The autopilot doesn't.
Response:    It does now.

Reported problem:   Something loose in the cockpit.
Response:    Something tightened in the cockpit.

Reported problem:   Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
Response:    Evidence removed.

Reported problem:   DME volume unbelievably loud.
Response:    Volume set to more believable level.

Reported problem: Dead insects on windshield.
Response:  Live insects on order.

Reported problem: Autopilot in Altitude Hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Response:  Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Reported problem:  IFF inoperative.
Response:  IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Reported problem:  Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Response:  That's what they're there for.

Reported problem: Number three engine missing.
Response:  Engine found on right wing after brief search.

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